All of the Above Love

In the spirit of Valentine’s day, I wanted to share with you the beginnings of mine & Nate’s love story. It’s right there, in the conversation above. The first time we ever spoke about love. It had barely been 4 months of “officially” dating, yet both of us knew there was something.. that thing.. we didn’t really know what it was called.. until this conversation.

Let me back up. The moment Nate & I started dating, we both agreed it was going to be an adventure. Neither of us had been in any sort of relationship before so, with no idea what “real” couples were supposed to do, we did our own thing. When our schedules allowed, we hung out. Got lunch. Or coffee. Saw a movie here and there. Went to the park. Simple things on a college kid budget. More than friends, but most importantly, friends.

The idea of “love” was pretty scary to me. Whenever I thought I might love Nate, I shook my head and told myself it was too early for that. I didn’t know how to be in love! And, wait, I thought love wasn’t supposed to happen for a long time. And that we were supposed to know each other really, really, really well… and that I had to have all his favorite things memorized before I could fall in love with him. Because that’s how it’s “supposed” to go… But once that feeling had been felt, I couldn’t not tell him about it. I mean, we were dating! And if you’re dating and you love the person, you should probably tell them, right?

Seemed like a good idea. But I didn’t know how to tell him, so I asked him.. while we were sitting on the uncomfortable couch in his tiny little dorm room at almost midnight on a random night in April (guys, I wrote it in my journal, my memory is not that good). With my spinning head of questions and mouth that can never keep shut and a Nate who pretty much knows everything, I figured, why not? “What does it mean to be in love?” silence.. thinking.. smiling.. “Well, I think it’s being able to trust someone with everything. And always wanting to be with them…” ten minutes later.. “What are you thinking?” “I’m thinking I love you…”

Fast forward almost three years later, and we’ve learned so much more about what our kind of love is. Yeah, it’s definitely still trusting each other and wanting to spend as much time as possible together. But it’s also leaving him little notes under his pillow for him to find when he gets home from work. It’s him shoveling the driveway so I don’t have to go out in the cold. It’s holding hands under the table while we’re out to dinner. It’s not only making one mug of hot apple cider, but two, because he knows I’ll want some. It’s taking turns doing dishes even though we both hate it. It’s not perfect; it’s a learning process. Everyday we learn new things in order to love better. But even then, love is something bigger. We could never have enough love for each other on our own. We have to receive it from God to be able to give it back to each other. “God so loved us, we also ought to love one another… but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” 1 John 4:11

Love is different for everyone. Quiet love, affectionate love, love notes, love tweets, silly love, shy love, all of the above love. Any way you love, show it to those people today and EVERY day. Seriously, why do we wait ’til a cold day in February to tell people how we really feel? Tell them all the time! At least, that’s my opinion. I never get tired of telling Nate how much I love him, which is a nice little tradition we started on a random night in April.

So, happy random Thursday in February!

~S